Individual therapy · La Roca del Vallès and online
Emotional dependency: when you cannot let go even though you know it is hurting you
You know it. You know that relationship is costing you more than it gives you, and still, every time you think about ending it, something stops you. It is not a lack of backbone. In individual therapy we work on what holds that attachment in place and how to get your own judgement back, at my practice in La Roca del Vallès, near Granollers, or online.
David Puig · Psychologist, reg. no. 31755 (COPC) · Sex therapist
Or call me on 615 40 12 39
Do you recognise yourself in any of these?
Emotional dependency does not start with a scene. It starts with small surrenders that look like love and that, little by little, stop leaving any room for you.
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Your whole day hangs on whether they reply
You check your phone every few minutes. If they take their time, your afternoon is gone; if they answer warmly, you breathe again. Someone else decides your mood.
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You are always the one who gives in
The plans, the decisions, even the opinions. You have stopped saying what you think so as not to open a conflict you already know the ending of.
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You have ended it several times and gone back
Each time you promise yourself it is the last. And a few days later the message comes back, the hope comes back, and so do you.
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You excuse things you would not let a friend accept
You hear yourself explaining why this time was different, and part of you knows you do not believe it.
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The thought of being on your own terrifies you
It is not that you want to be with that person: it is that you cannot picture being with nobody. And that weighs more than everything else.
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You no longer know what you want
You have spent so long attending to the other person that, if someone asks what you feel like doing, your mind goes blank.
If the relationship is already over and you cannot pick yourself up
When what hurts is the afterwards — the grief, the empty flat, the mind that will not stop — the work is a different one. I cover it under getting over a breakup.
Dependency is not cut off in one go: it is understood, and then it can be let go
I am not going to tell you to leave, and I am not going to tell you to put up with it. My job is that you understand what need that attachment is meeting, so that you make the decision yourself with all the information, and not out of fear.
How we work on emotional dependency in the practice
I work from the contextual therapies, with training in Gestalt and EMDR, and I adapt the process to each person. My own path has connected me with dependency, so you will find no judgement on this side of the chair.
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Putting a name to what is happening
Before deciding anything, understanding the pattern: what hooks you, when it tightens and what makes you go back.
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Looking at where it comes from
It hardly ever begins in this relationship. Earlier histories, how you learned to love and to be loved, what was rewarded and what was punished.
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Getting your own judgement back
Knowing again what you want, what you will not put up with and what you need. It sounds basic and it is the first thing to go.
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Holding the discomfort without calling
The anxiety of separation passes, but it has to be gone through. We work on concrete ways of getting through that stretch without letting it decide for you.
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Deciding from somewhere else
With the pattern understood and your judgement back, the decision — to stay, to change the relationship or to end it — is genuinely yours.
Psychologist and sex therapistReg. no. 31755 · Col·legi Oficial de Psicologia de Catalunya
I am David Puig, psychologist and sex therapist
I am a psychologist registered with the Col·legi Oficial de Psicologia de Catalunya under number 31755, and a sex therapist. My practice is in La Roca del Vallès, where I work with individuals and couples from the Vallès Oriental, and I also see people online.
When someone arrives with emotional dependency I do not tell them what to do. My job is that you understand why it is so hard and that you recover the place from which to decide, without rushing and without anyone judging you for having gone back before.
My own path has connected me with deep emotional situations such as dependency and grief, and that lets me accompany you with genuine empathy. I work with clear goals from the start, and discharge comes when they are met. More about individual therapy
Where can you find me?
Emotional dependency is worked on at the practice or by video call, in individual sessions. The other person does not need to come, and you do not need to have made any decision yet.
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At the practice, in La Roca del Vallès
Carrer Joan Miró, 2, 2n 4a · 08430 La Roca del Vallès (Barcelona), near Granollers.
Book an appointment -
Online, by video call
From home, with no travelling and the same support as in the practice.
How the process works
Get directions
How we start
- The introductory call
- 30 minutes, free and with no commitment. You tell me what brings you here, I explain how I work and you decide whether to start.
- The first session
- We get to know each other calmly, you tell me your story and we agree what you want to work on. It lasts 60 minutes.
- What does not happen
- Nobody will judge you, you do not have to say anything you would rather not, and you do not have to decide in the first session whether to continue.
Frequently asked questions about emotional dependency
Is emotional dependency a disorder?
It is not a diagnosis in itself: it is a way of attaching in which your own wellbeing hangs on another person. It is worked on in therapy and it is worked on well, even though it appears as a label in no manual.
Do I have to end the relationship to start therapy?
No. In fact it is better not to decide anything under pressure. We start by understanding what is happening; the decision comes later and you are the one who makes it.
What if it is my partner who depends, not me?
That can be worked on too, and sometimes it makes sense to do it as a couple. We look at it on the introductory call and I tell you honestly which format I think suits you.
How long does a process like this take?
I do not give estimates in sessions, because they depend on each history. What I do is agree concrete goals with you from the start: when they are met, I am the first to discharge you.
Is this the same as a toxic relationship?
They are different things that sometimes go together. «Toxic» describes the relationship; dependency describes how you get hooked. You can depend on someone who treats you well, and you can leave a damaging relationship without dependency.
How much is each session?
The individual session is €70 and lasts 60 minutes. They are all listed under fees, and the first introductory call is free.
This content is for information only and does not replace a professional assessment or a course of therapy. If you are thinking of harming yourself, call 024: it is free, confidential and open 24 hours. If you are experiencing gender-based violence, 016 is free and does not appear on your phone bill. In an emergency, call 112.
What people who have already come say on Google
What if you stopped asking what they want and started asking what you want?
Book the free introductory call or message me on WhatsApp. No commitment, and with time to tell me what is going on for you.
Or call me on 615 40 12 39
