Individual therapy · La Roca del Vallès and online
Self-esteem and relationships: how you see yourself inside shapes how you relate outside
Apologising for taking up space. Settling for less than you wanted. Talking to yourself inside the way you would talk to nobody else. The way you look at yourself does not stay inside: it decides who you approach, what you accept and what you dare to ask for. In individual therapy we work on it, at my practice in La Roca del Vallès, near Granollers, or online.
David Puig · Psychologist, reg. no. 31755 (COPC) · Sex therapist
Or call me on 615 40 12 39
Does any of this sound familiar?
You do not have to be in a bad way for this to weigh. It usually shows in small, everyday things, inside relationships that look fine from the outside.
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You do not ask for what you need
It feels excessive, badly timed or just too much. So you keep it in, and then you are cross with yourself for keeping it in.
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You accept less than you wanted
In your relationship, with friends, at work. As if what is due to you were always a little less than for everyone else.
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You find it hard to receive something good
A compliment, a present, someone going out of their way for you. You play it down before they have even finished the sentence.
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You speak to yourself terribly inside
A voice that comments on everything you do and hardly ever in your favour. You have lived with it so long that it no longer sounds strange.
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You compare yourself constantly
With whoever is in front of you, with whoever came before you, with the version of you from a few years back. You always lose.
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You apologise for almost everything
For speaking, for bothering, for taking too long, for existing a bit. It comes out by itself, and it no longer sounds wrong to you.
Each thing in its place
If what weighs is not being able to let go of a relationship, that is emotional dependency; if it is not daring to approach anyone, that is fear of rejection. This page is about how you look at yourself.
Self-esteem is not lifted with phrases: it changes when what you allow yourself changes
Telling yourself you are worth it does not move much, and you have already tried that. What moves things is starting to do different things — asking, saying no, receiving — and seeing that the world holds. The way you see yourself follows; it does not lead.
How we work on self-esteem in the practice
I work from the contextual therapies, with training in Gestalt and EMDR. I do not treat self-esteem as a separate muscle: I work on it where it shows, which is in what you do and in what you allow yourself with other people.
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Listening to how you talk to yourself
Putting that inner voice in front of you and seeing it for what it is: something learned, with a history, not the truth about you.
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Seeing where that view came from
What was rewarded and what was singled out, who you were compared with, what you had to be in order to be loved.
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Starting to ask
Small and concrete. A plan, an explanation, a change of plan. Asking and seeing what actually happens, rather than what your head predicts.
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Practising the no
Saying no without justifying yourself for twenty minutes. It is one of the things that changes your relationship with yourself fastest.
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Letting yourself be treated well
Receiving without discounting. It sounds easy and it is usually the hardest part of the whole process.
Psychologist and sex therapistReg. no. 31755 · Col·legi Oficial de Psicologia de Catalunya
I am David Puig, psychologist and sex therapist
I am a psychologist registered with the Col·legi Oficial de Psicologia de Catalunya under number 31755, and a sex therapist. My practice is in La Roca del Vallès, where I work with individuals and couples from the Vallès Oriental, and I also see people online.
When someone arrives saying their self-esteem is on the floor I do not hand out affirmation exercises. I look at how they treat themselves and what they allow themselves with the people who matter to them, because that is where this is played out and that is where it can change.
My own path has connected me with deep emotional situations such as dependency and grief, and that lets me accompany you with genuine empathy. I work with clear goals from the start, and discharge comes when they are met. More about individual therapy
Where can you find me?
It is worked on in individual sessions, at the practice or by video call. It is common to start here and find that what lies underneath has another name; if that happens, we redirect together.
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At the practice, in La Roca del Vallès
Carrer Joan Miró, 2, 2n 4a · 08430 La Roca del Vallès (Barcelona), near Granollers.
Book an appointment -
Online, by video call
From home, with no travelling and the same support as in the practice.
How the process works
Get directions
How we start
- The introductory call
- 30 minutes, free and with no commitment. You tell me what brings you here, I explain how I work and you decide whether to start.
- The first session
- We get to know each other calmly, you tell me your story and we agree what you want to work on. It lasts 60 minutes.
- What does not happen
- Nobody will judge you, you do not have to say anything you would rather not, and you do not have to decide in the first session whether to continue.
Frequently asked questions about self-esteem and relationships
Can self-esteem be worked on?
Not as if it were a tank to be refilled. What can be worked on, and shows, is what you do: what you ask for, what you allow and how you speak to yourself. The way you see yourself comes after that, not before.
Are you going to have me repeat affirmations in the mirror?
No. Telling yourself you are worth it when you do not believe it usually reinforces the opposite. We work with what you do, not with what you repeat.
Does this have to do with emotional dependency?
They often go together, but they are not the same. If what weighs most is not being able to let go of a relationship, start with emotional dependency; we look at it on the call.
It mostly happens in my relationship. Is that individual or couples therapy?
It can be either and sometimes both. On the introductory call I tell you honestly which one I think suits you, and it is not always the one that suits me best.
Does something serious have to happen for me to come?
No. Plenty of people arrive without a crisis, just with the sense of having spent years treating themselves worse than they would treat anyone else. That is reason enough.
How much is each session?
The individual session is €70 and lasts 60 minutes. They are all listed under fees, and the first introductory call is free.
This content is for information only and does not replace a professional assessment or a course of therapy. If you are thinking of harming yourself, call 024: it is free, confidential and open 24 hours. If you are experiencing gender-based violence, 016 is free and does not appear on your phone bill. In an emergency, call 112.
What people who have already come say on Google
What if you started treating yourself the way you treat the people you love?
Book the free introductory call or message me on WhatsApp. No commitment, and with time to tell me what is going on for you.
Or call me on 615 40 12 39
