Couples therapy · La Roca del Vallès and online
Jealousy and mistrust in a relationship: when doubt takes the place of the relationship
Checking the phone, asking for explanations, arguing about the same thing every week. Jealousy wears down the one who feels it and the one on the receiving end, and it rarely settles by promising it will not happen again. In couples therapy we work on what keeps it going, at my practice in La Roca del Vallès, near Granollers, or online.
David Puig · Psychologist, reg. no. 31755 (COPC) · Sex therapist
Or call me on 615 40 12 39
Do you recognise yourselves in any of these?
Jealousy hardly ever starts with a scene. It starts with a doubt that will not go away and small checks that look harmless, until they take over the whole relationship.
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Checking the phone, the apps or the timings
Looking at when they were last online, checking who they talk to, going back over old photos. Checking soothes for a while, and shortly after the doubt comes back stronger.
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Asking for explanations about everything
Where are you going, who with, why did you take so long. The questions come out without meaning to, and the answer never quite settles it.
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Always arguing about the same thing
The same person, the same situation, the same conversation. It closes over without healing and reappears the following week.
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Dropping plans to avoid the row
One of you starts leaving things out, not meeting certain people or reporting everything, and the relationship keeps getting smaller.
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Feeling watched and ending up on the defensive
Whoever is on the receiving end feels they have to prove their innocence every day. And the more they defend themselves, the more suspicious their reaction looks.
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Promising trust and not being able to keep it up
You both agree it is over, and a few days later the checking is back. The promise alone does not hold, and it adds guilt on top.
After an affair, mistrust does not go away by itself
If there has been an affair, the mistrust has a reason and needs work of its own. I cover it under infidelity and breakups.
Jealousy is not fixed by promising: it is worked on by understanding what feeds it
This is not about deciding who is right or proving anything. It is about understanding what fear sits underneath, what sets it off and what you both do when it shows up, so you can respond differently.
How we work on jealousy in the practice
In session we look at the whole dynamic, not only at the one who feels jealous. I work from the contextual therapies, with training in Gestalt and EMDR, and I adapt the process to each couple.
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Separating the fear from the facts
What has actually happened and what the mind is adding. Telling them apart brings the intensity down and makes it possible to talk about what does matter.
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Understanding where the mistrust comes from
Earlier histories, things that did happen in this relationship, wounds that are not from now. Knowing the origin changes the treatment.
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Stopping the checking, little by little
Checking relieves for a minute and feeds the doubt for the rest of the day. We work on concrete ways of holding the discomfort without reaching for it.
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Agreeing what each of you needs in order to feel settled
What information is shared, what is not, and where the line sits between caring for the other and controlling them. Agreements spoken out loud, not assumed.
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Rebuilding trust through actions
Trust comes back through small things accumulating over time, not through one definitive conversation.
Psychologist and sex therapistReg. no. 31755 · Col·legi Oficial de Psicologia de Catalunya
I am David Puig, couples therapist and sex therapist
I am a psychologist registered with the Col·legi Oficial de Psicologia de Catalunya under number 31755, and a sex therapist. My practice is in La Roca del Vallès, where I work with couples and individuals from the Vallès Oriental, and I also see people online.
When a couple arrives with jealousy I do not look for someone to blame and I do not ask for evidence. My job is to help you see what repeats between you, what each of you needs and how to get out of the loop of checking and justifying.
I work with clear goals from the start, and discharge comes when they are met: the aim is that you stop needing therapy. More about couples therapy
Where can you find me?
Jealousy can be worked on at the practice or online, as a couple or individually if for now only one of you wants to start.
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At the practice, in La Roca del Vallès
Carrer Joan Miró, 2, 2n 4a · 08430 La Roca del Vallès (Barcelona), near Granollers.
Couples therapy in person -
Online, by video call
From home, with no travelling and the same support as in the practice.
Couples therapy online -
At home, in specific cases
When travelling is not an option. We weigh it up together on the call.
Couples therapy at home
Get directions
How we start
- The introductory call
- 30 minutes, free and with no commitment. You tell me what brings you here, I explain how I work and you decide whether to start.
- The first session
- We get to know each other calmly, you tell me your story and we agree what you want to work on. It lasts 60 minutes.
- What does not happen
- Nobody will judge you or take sides, you do not have to say anything you would rather not, and you do not have to decide in the first session whether to continue.
Frequently asked questions about jealousy in a relationship
Is jealousy normal, or is it a problem?
Feeling jealous now and then is common. The problem starts when it organises daily life: when checking, justifying or arguing become routine, and the relationship shrinks because of it.
What is pathological jealousy?
It is the name given to jealousy that no longer responds to facts, takes up much of your thinking and is kept going by checking and control. On the introductory call we look at where you are.
Do we both have to come?
The usual thing is to work on it as a couple, because the dynamic is held up by both of you. If only one wants to start, individual work is possible and we can weigh up later whether it makes sense to come together.
My partner says I am overreacting. Who is right?
In the practice nobody hands out who is right. We look at what is happening between you, what hurts and what it would take for you both to feel settled.
Can jealousy be worked on if there has already been an affair?
Yes, and it is different work: there the mistrust has a real reason. I explain it under infidelity and breakups.
How much is each session?
Each session is €90 and lasts 75 minutes. They are all listed under fees, and the introductory call is free.
This content is for information only and does not replace a professional assessment or a course of therapy. If there is violence in the relationship or someone is in danger, call 112. If you are thinking of harming yourself, call 024: it is free, confidential and open 24 hours. If you are experiencing gender-based violence, 016 is free and does not appear on your phone bill.
What people who have already come say on Google
What if you stopped arguing about the doubt and started understanding it?
Book the free introductory call or message me on WhatsApp. No commitment, and with time to tell me what is going on.
Or call me on 615 40 12 39
