Couples therapy · La Roca del Vallès and online
Communication problems in a relationship: understanding why every conversation ends in an argument
When talking about anything ends in blame, silence or the same old row, the problem is usually not the topic: it is the way you talk to each other. In couples therapy we work on that, at my practice in La Roca del Vallès, near Granollers, or online.
David Puig · Psychologist, reg. no. 31755 (COPC) · Sex therapist
Or call me on 615 40 12 39
Does this happen when you try to talk?
Communication problems hardly ever appear overnight. They settle in through small gestures that repeat until talking becomes exhausting. You may recognise yourselves in some of these.
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Any subject ends in an argument
You start out talking about who picks up the children and end up arguing about something that happened months ago. The subject makes no difference: the argument always arrives at the same place.
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One of you pushes and the other shuts down
The more one of you needs to talk about it, the further the other withdraws. One feels ignored, the other feels attacked, and you both end up worn out.
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Old grievances come back in every row
Every argument reopens old wounds. Whatever was never settled comes up again and again, and there is no way to talk only about the present.
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There are subjects you no longer touch
Money, family, sex or the children have turned into a minefield. Avoiding them seems easier, but the distance grows all the same.
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Neither of you feels heard
While one of you is talking, the other is already preparing a reply. In the end you both feel misunderstood.
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You say things you later regret
In the middle of an argument the worst of it comes out: sentences that hurt for days, even if afterwards you apologise and carry on as if nothing had happened.
You barely argue any more, but you barely talk either
Sometimes silence weighs more than the rows. When there are no arguments left because there is no talking left, that is also a moment to ask for help.
It is time to change how you talk to each other, not only what you talk about
Communicating differently is not about being right, nor about keeping quiet to avoid trouble. It is about being able to say what you need and to hear what the other one needs, including on the hard subjects.
How we work on communication in the practice
The session is a safe place to talk about what goes wrong at home, with someone who helps keep the conversation on track. I work from the contextual therapies, with training in Gestalt and EMDR, and I adapt the process to each couple.
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Spotting the loop you fall into
What sets the argument off, how it escalates and what part each of you plays. Seeing it from the outside is the first step towards changing it.
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Speaking from what you feel, not from blame
Moving from «you always» to «I need», so the other one can listen without getting defensive.
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Listening to understand, not to reply
Practising another way of listening in session, and checking that what one of you means is what the other one actually receives.
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Knowing when to stop
Recognising when a conversation is going wrong, pausing it and picking it up again when you are both in a fit state.
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Going back to what is still pending
With that groundwork, taking on the subjects you were avoiding and talking them through more calmly and with less fear.
Psychologist and sex therapistReg. no. 31755 · Col·legi Oficial de Psicologia de Catalunya
I am David Puig, couples therapist and sex therapist
I am a psychologist registered with the Col·legi Oficial de Psicologia de Catalunya under number 31755, and a sex therapist. My practice is in La Roca del Vallès, where I work with couples and individuals from the Vallès Oriental, and I also see people online.
When a couple arrives with communication problems I do not take sides and I do not look for who is to blame. My job is to help you see what repeats between you and to practise another way of talking, inside and outside the session.
I work with clear goals from the start, and discharge comes when they are met: the aim is that you stop needing therapy. More about couples therapy
Where can you find me?
Communication in a relationship can be worked on at the practice or online. On the introductory call we look at which format suits you best.
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At the practice, in La Roca del Vallès
Carrer Joan Miró, 2, 2n 4a · 08430 La Roca del Vallès (Barcelona), near Granollers.
Couples therapy in person -
Online, by video call
From home, with no travelling and the same support as in the practice.
Couples therapy online -
At home, in specific cases
When travelling is not an option. We weigh it up together on the call.
Couples therapy at home
Get directions
How we start
- The introductory call
- 30 minutes, free and with no commitment. You tell me what brings you here, I explain how I work and you decide whether to start.
- The first session
- We get to know each other calmly, you tell me your story and we agree what you want to work on. It lasts 60 minutes.
- What does not happen
- Nobody will judge you or take sides, you do not have to say anything you would rather not, and you do not have to decide in the first session whether to continue.
Frequently asked questions about communication problems in a relationship
What if we only argue about silly things?
The reason looking small does not mean the problem is. Very often an argument about something minor is how whatever is not being said finds its way out.
Do we both have to come?
Ideally we work on it with both of you, because communication is something that happens between you. If for now only one of you wants to start, tell me on the call and we will see how to approach it.
How many sessions does it take?
It depends on each couple and on how long the problem has been there. I propose some goals at the start and we review together how you are getting on; you set the pace.
What if one of us does not want to talk?
That is a very common situation. In session we work at a pace that respects you both, without pushing anyone to say what they are not ready to say.
How much is each session?
Couples therapy has its own fee, different from the individual one. I explain it on the free introductory call, before you decide anything.
Can we do the therapy online?
Yes. Online sessions are by video call and follow the same process as in the practice. On the introductory call we look at whether it is the format that suits you best.
This content is for information only and does not replace a professional assessment or a course of therapy. If there is violence in the relationship or someone is in danger, call 112. If you are thinking of harming yourself, call 024: it is free, confidential and open 24 hours. If you are experiencing gender-based violence, 016 is free and does not appear on your phone bill.
What people who have already come say on Google
What if the next difficult conversation happens here?
Book the free introductory call or message me on WhatsApp. No commitment, and with time to tell me what is going on.
Or call me on 615 40 12 39
