Individual therapy · La Roca del Vallès and online
Getting over a breakup: the grief nobody taught you how to do
It is over, and on the outside you have to carry on: work, reply, say you are fine. Inside you have spent weeks with your mind in a loop and nowhere to put everything you felt. A breakup is a grief, and grief has its own process. In individual therapy we walk through it with you, at my practice in La Roca del Vallès, near Granollers, or online.
David Puig · Psychologist, reg. no. 31755 (COPC) · Sex therapist
Or call me on 615 40 12 39
Does any of this sound familiar?
After a breakup hardly anyone gives themselves permission to feel bad for as long as they need. And grief, if it is not done, waits.
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Your mind will not stop going over it
What you said, what they said, the moment it broke. You go over the conversation looking for the exact point, as if understanding it would change anything.
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You keep checking what they are up to
The last time they were online, the photos, who follows them. Each time you promise yourself it is the last, and each time it hurts a little more.
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You have lost the person you turned to
It is not only the partner: it is who you told your day to, who you made plans with, who knew what was going on with you without asking.
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The flat, the places and the dates are full of them
There are streets you avoid, songs you skip and a Sunday afternoon that has become very long.
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People tell you it is time you felt better
A «reasonable» amount of time has passed and the people around you start expecting you to move on. And you are not there, and on top of that you feel guilty for not being.
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You cannot picture starting again with anyone
The idea of telling your life story again, of exposing yourself again, feels more like a chore than a prospect. Or simply frightening.
If it is not decided yet, that is different work
When the relationship is still open and what has to be decided is whether you carry on — with an affair in the middle of it or without — that is worked on as a couple. I cover it under infidelity and breakups.
Grief cannot be hurried, but it can be accompanied so that it does not get stuck
I am not here to tell you how long it should last, nor to cheer you on to get over it. I am here so you can go through it without staying inside it: so the pain does its work and does not become the place where you live.
How I accompany grief after a breakup
I work from the contextual therapies, with training in Gestalt and EMDR. My own path has connected me with grief, and that changes the way you sit across from someone.
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Giving it its name: this is grief
It is not weakness and it is not an overreaction. Naming it properly already takes off some of the guilt it comes with as standard.
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Putting what happened in order
Putting the story in its place, what went well, what did not, and what you told yourself to keep it going. Ordering is not judging.
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Stopping the loop
Rumination relieves for a second and feeds the rest of the day. We work on concrete ways of getting out of it when it starts.
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Refilling what the relationship took up
Sundays, the plans, who you call when something happens. The gap does not fill itself: it gets shared out.
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Looking forward again, when the time comes
Not before, and not to prove anything. When grief has done its part, looking forward stops being an effort.
Psychologist and sex therapistReg. no. 31755 · Col·legi Oficial de Psicologia de Catalunya
I am David Puig, psychologist and sex therapist
I am a psychologist registered with the Col·legi Oficial de Psicologia de Catalunya under number 31755, and a sex therapist. My practice is in La Roca del Vallès, where I work with individuals and couples from the Vallès Oriental, and I also see people online.
When someone arrives after a breakup I do not set deadlines and I do not tell them the good part is still to come. My job is that you have a place where this can be felt whole, and that the grief moves rather than going round in circles.
My own path has connected me with deep emotional situations such as dependency and grief, and that lets me accompany you with genuine empathy. I work with clear goals from the start, and discharge comes when they are met. More about individual therapy
Where can you find me?
Grief after a breakup is worked on in individual sessions, at the practice or by video call. No particular amount of time needs to have passed, and you do not need to have it clear: you can start while it is still raw.
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At the practice, in La Roca del Vallès
Carrer Joan Miró, 2, 2n 4a · 08430 La Roca del Vallès (Barcelona), near Granollers.
Book an appointment -
Online, by video call
From home, with no travelling and the same support as in the practice.
How the process works
Get directions
How we start
- The introductory call
- 30 minutes, free and with no commitment. You tell me what brings you here, I explain how I work and you decide whether to start.
- The first session
- We get to know each other calmly, you tell me your story and we agree what you want to work on. It lasts 60 minutes.
- What does not happen
- Nobody will judge you, you do not have to say anything you would rather not, and you do not have to decide in the first session whether to continue.
Frequently asked questions about getting over a breakup
How long does it take to get over a breakup?
There is no number, and be wary of anyone who gives you one. It depends on how long it lasted, how it ended, how much space it took up in your life and what you bring from before. What can be done is to stop it getting stuck.
A long time has passed and I am still the same, is that normal?
It is common, and it usually means the grief has stalled at some point. That can be looked at and it can be unstuck.
Is therapy any use if I was the one who ended it?
Yes. Ending a relationship hurts too, and it usually comes with guilt, which is one of the hardest things to carry alone.
What if there was an affair?
Then there are two things: the end of the relationship and the betrayal, and they run on different clocks. If the relationship is still open and you are deciding, we work on it as a couple: I explain it under infidelity and breakups.
I cannot stop looking at their social media, can that be fixed?
Yes, and it is one of the first things we work on. Looking soothes for a moment and reopens the wound for the rest of the day; there are concrete ways of breaking that circuit.
How much is each session?
The individual session is €70 and lasts 60 minutes. They are all listed under fees, and the first introductory call is free.
This content is for information only and does not replace a professional assessment or a course of therapy. If you are thinking of harming yourself, call 024: it is free, confidential and open 24 hours. If you are experiencing gender-based violence, 016 is free and does not appear on your phone bill. In an emergency, call 112.
What people who have already come say on Google
What if you stopped carrying it on your own?
Book the free introductory call or message me on WhatsApp. No commitment, and with time to tell me what is going on for you.
Or call me on 615 40 12 39
