Couples therapy · La Roca del Vallès and online
Routine and growing apart: when you live well together but no longer find each other
There are no rows and no clear reason, and yet something has gone cold. You talk about schedules, the shopping and the children, and it has been a long time since you talked about yourselves. In couples therapy we look at when it started and what it would take to find each other again, at my practice in La Roca del Vallès, near Granollers, or online.
David Puig · Psychologist, reg. no. 31755 (COPC) · Sex therapist
Or call me on 615 40 12 39
Does any of this sound familiar?
Growing apart does not happen overnight. It settles in through small surrenders nobody decides on which, added up, leave the relationship running on inertia.
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You live like flatmates
The house works, the schedules fit and the logistics are sorted. What is missing is what made you a couple.
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Each of you on your own screen
You share a sofa and not much else. The evenings go by without either of you telling the other anything about the day.
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There are no conversations left that are not practical
You talk about what needs doing. About what is going on inside, less and less, and it is harder to start.
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Physical contact has almost disappeared
Not only sex: the hugs too, the jokes, touching as you pass. It goes without anyone noticing until it is no longer there.
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Plans are more and more separate
Each with their own friends, hobbies and good moments. What is shared gets reduced to what has to be.
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Nobody is unhappy, but nobody is keen either
There is no crisis and no reason to argue, and that is exactly the unsettling part: you do not know what to fix.
One of you notices and the other says everything is fine
It is very common for only one of you to see the problem. That alone is worth talking about, and you can start even if the other does not see it the same way yet.
Growing apart is not fixed with a weekend away
A trip feels good and lasts as long as it lasts. What changes things is recovering what you stopped doing day to day: the conversation that is not logistics, the unhurried time and the contact with no purpose.
How we work on the distance in the practice
The session is for putting a name to what has been fading and deciding what you really want back. I work from the contextual therapies, with training in Gestalt and EMDR, and I adapt the process to each couple.
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Pinpointing when it started
A change of job, a child arriving, a move, a bereavement. There is nearly always a moment when the relationship went into the background.
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Getting back the conversation that is not logistics
Talking about what is going on for you, not only about what needs doing. We practise it in session, because at home it is hard to get going.
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Looking at desire and contact without making a drama of it
What has changed, what you miss and what can be picked up again. If the difficulty is sexual, we work on it under sexual problems in relationships.
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Agreeing couple time that actually holds
Not grand plans: realistic slots that fit into your week and do not depend on having energy to spare.
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Balancing what is yours and what is shared
Being close is not doing everything together. It is about each of you having your own space and the relationship having its own too.
Psychologist and sex therapistReg. no. 31755 · Col·legi Oficial de Psicologia de Catalunya
I am David Puig, couples therapist and sex therapist
I am a psychologist registered with the Col·legi Oficial de Psicologia de Catalunya under number 31755, and a sex therapist. My practice is in La Roca del Vallès, where I work with couples and individuals from the Vallès Oriental, and I also see people online.
When a couple arrives saying «nothing is wrong, but something is wrong», I do not look for someone to blame or a hidden crisis. My job is to help you see what stopped happening and to recover what used to work for you.
I work with clear goals from the start, and discharge comes when they are met: the aim is that you stop needing therapy. More about couples therapy
Where can you find me?
Routine and growing apart can be worked on at the practice or online. On the introductory call we look at which format suits you best.
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At the practice, in La Roca del Vallès
Carrer Joan Miró, 2, 2n 4a · 08430 La Roca del Vallès (Barcelona), near Granollers.
Couples therapy in person -
Online, by video call
From home, with no travelling and the same support as in the practice.
Couples therapy online -
At home, in specific cases
When travelling is not an option. We weigh it up together on the call.
Couples therapy at home
Get directions
How we start
- The introductory call
- 30 minutes, free and with no commitment. You tell me what brings you here, I explain how I work and you decide whether to start.
- The first session
- We get to know each other calmly, you tell me your story and we agree what you want to work on. It lasts 60 minutes.
- What does not happen
- Nobody will judge you or take sides, you do not have to say anything you would rather not, and you do not have to decide in the first session whether to continue.
Frequently asked questions about routine and growing apart
Is it normal for a relationship to fade over the years?
It is normal for it to change: the intensity of the beginning is not sustained in the same way. Stopping finding each other is another matter, and that can be worked on.
Could it be that we no longer love each other?
Not always. Very often what there is is tiredness, lack of time and habits that have settled in. In therapy we tell one from the other without deciding it for you.
Is therapy any use if we have no serious problem?
Yes. In fact, coming before there is a crisis usually makes the work shorter and easier.
My partner says I am overreacting. Is it worth coming?
Yes. You can start with just one of you and see how to approach it. The fact that one of you notices is already information about the relationship.
What if what is missing is sex?
It is one of the most common ways the distance shows. I work on it under sexual problems in relationships, within the same process.
How much is each session?
Each session is €90 and lasts 75 minutes. They are all listed under fees, and the introductory call is free.
This content is for information only and does not replace a professional assessment or a course of therapy. If there is violence in the relationship or someone is in danger, call 112. If you are thinking of harming yourself, call 024: it is free, confidential and open 24 hours. If you are experiencing gender-based violence, 016 is free and does not appear on your phone bill.
What people who have already come say on Google
What if you put each other back in the diary?
Book the free introductory call or message me on WhatsApp. No commitment, and with time to tell me what is going on.
Or call me on 615 40 12 39
