Couples therapy · La Roca del Vallès and online
Sexual problems in a relationship: loss of desire, avoidance and sex that has become tense
When sex becomes a subject you avoid, the distance grows in everything else. Loss of desire in a relationship is hardly ever just a matter of appetite: it has to do with how you are, how you talk to each other and what is expected of every encounter. In couples therapy we work on it matter-of-factly, at my practice in La Roca del Vallès, near Granollers, or online.
David Puig · Psychologist, reg. no. 31755 (COPC) · Sex therapist
Or call me on 615 40 12 39
Does any of this happen to you?
Almost no couple arrives saying «we have a sexual problem». They arrive saying nothing has happened for months, that the subject is not even raised any more, or that when it does happen it is not like it used to be.
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One of you wants to and the other hardly ever does
The mismatch repeats until one of you stops suggesting it and the other feels in debt. You both end up avoiding the moment.
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The situation is avoided before it arrives
Going to bed at different times, stretching out the series, staying on your phone. Nobody says it, but you both notice.
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Sex has turned into an obligation
When it happens, it is more to avoid an argument than out of desire. And that leaves a worse taste than not doing it.
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You do not know how to talk about it without it hurting
Any attempt sounds like a reproach or a test, so it gets left for another day that never comes.
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Since one particular moment, it has not been the same
A pregnancy, a course of treatment, a hormonal change, a very stressful period. There is a before and an after, and it has not been talked about.
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There is a specific difficulty and it takes over everything
When a difficulty with erection or control appears, the fear of it happening again ends up shaping every encounter.
If the difficulty belongs to one of you, that is worked on too
Erection and ejaculation have their own treatment, within the same process. They are covered under sex therapy for men.
Desire does not come back by forcing it, nor by waiting for it to come back on its own
The goal is not to have more sex or to get back to the frequency of ten years ago. It is to understand what has broken in the encounter, take the pressure off it and build something again that appeals to you both.
How we work on sex in the practice
I am a psychologist and a sex therapist, so the subject is dealt with right here, without referring you on to someone else. In session we talk about it matter-of-factly and without going into details you would rather not share.
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Putting the subject on the table without it being a reproach
The first thing is being able to talk about it. In session there is a frame that lets you say it without the other one hearing it as a complaint.
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Separating desire from performance
When every encounter is a test, the body responds with fear. Taking that pressure off is usually the first real change.
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Getting back contact with no goal attached
I work with concrete step-by-step guidance, so you can find each other again without everything having to end the same way.
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Looking at what is going on outside the bedroom
Accumulated resentment, tiredness or a lack of day-to-day closeness weigh on desire as much as what happens in the bedroom.
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Treating the specific difficulty, if there is one
Both erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation have their own treatment and can be worked on in parallel.
Psychologist and sex therapistReg. no. 31755 · Col·legi Oficial de Psicologia de Catalunya
I am David Puig, couples therapist and sex therapist
I am a psychologist registered with the Col·legi Oficial de Psicologia de Catalunya under number 31755, and a sex therapist. My practice is in La Roca del Vallès, where I work with couples and individuals from the Vallès Oriental, and I also see people online.
When a couple arrives with a sexual problem I do not hand out textbook advice and I do not ask more than is needed. My job is that you can talk about it without it turning into a fight, and that you find what works for you.
I work with clear goals from the start, and discharge comes when they are met: the aim is that you stop needing therapy. More about couples therapy
Where can you find me?
A couple’s sex life can be worked on at the practice or online. On the introductory call we look at which format suits you best.
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At the practice, in La Roca del Vallès
Carrer Joan Miró, 2, 2n 4a · 08430 La Roca del Vallès (Barcelona), near Granollers.
Couples therapy in person -
Online, by video call
From home, with no travelling and the same support as in the practice.
Couples therapy online -
At home, in specific cases
When travelling is not an option. We weigh it up together on the call.
Couples therapy at home
Get directions
How we start
- The introductory call
- 30 minutes, free and with no commitment. You tell me what brings you here, I explain how I work and you decide whether to start.
- The first session
- We get to know each other calmly, you tell me your story and we agree what you want to work on. It lasts 60 minutes.
- What does not happen
- Nobody will judge you or take sides, you do not have to say anything you would rather not, and you do not have to decide in the first session whether to continue.
Frequently asked questions about sexual problems in a relationship
Is it normal to lose desire after years together?
It is common for desire to change with time, with children, with stress or with age. Common does not mean you have to put up with it: it can be worked on.
Will we have to go into intimate details?
No more than you need to. We work with whatever you want to put on the table, and always under professional confidentiality.
Are there exercises to do at home?
Yes, there are usually concrete suggestions between sessions. They are agreed with you and adjusted as things go, never as homework to be ticked off.
What if the problem belongs to one of us?
We still work on it as a couple, because it affects you both, and in parallel we treat the specific difficulty. It is explained under sex therapy for men.
Should anything medical be ruled out first?
When a difficulty appears suddenly or comes with other symptoms, it is worth checking with a doctor as well. We talk about it in the first session.
How much is each session?
Each session is €90 and lasts 75 minutes. They are all listed under fees, and the introductory call is free.
This content is for information only and does not replace a professional assessment or a course of therapy. If a sexual difficulty appears suddenly or comes with other symptoms, it is worth checking with your doctor as well. If there is violence in the relationship or someone is in danger, call 112. If you are thinking of harming yourself, call 024: it is free, confidential and open 24 hours. If you are experiencing gender-based violence, 016 is free and does not appear on your phone bill.
What people who have already come say on Google
What if you talked about sex again without it ending in an argument?
Book the free introductory call or message me on WhatsApp. No commitment, and with time to tell me what is going on.
Or call me on 615 40 12 39
